The Butterfly Effect

yes..its so many days since my last post.....scribbled everything in my diary...but kept procrastinating this work.....laziness is my genes now...god save my future generations!!!

everyday brings with it..countless stories...which i wish to put up here...for others to view my world through my eyes.....

Today, as usual i got up..got ready for another academic enriching day.....thats when i frequent the libraries ..today was another library day..... wishing for a nicely stacked library...... cool place..both temperature and people wise.

I stepped out of my abode...was going to the bus stop...it was cool morning so thought of walking through our neighborhood park ...saw all kinds of birds there....old aunties...cribbing about their bahus...unclejis wishing for aunties to go home, to give jack, joker and queen a chance again...
Girls giggling and playing...boys busy in becoming tendulkar and dravid......bemused...quietly..i kept on walking and watching my steps too..coz there were squirrels playing in the well grassed lawns.......all these people were different...but alive..yes they were living life...

From one far end I saw a little boy(maybe 3 yrs) running towards me...he came upto me..bend down ..held his both knees with both hands, gasped for some breath and then looked upto me....and asked .."aap kaun ho".."aap kaun ho"..i smiled..i replied.."aapki dost"..he asked me again "aap kaun ho"..i replied" aapki dost"..he then tried to pull my duppatta..as if asking me to come with him..i nodded in agreement...i saw my watch..i still had time..could still make it to the libaray on time.

He was kept walking and tugged on to my duppatta....he took me to a lady..who was tending to an infant....i presumed that lady to be his mother..right i was.....he said.."mummy dekho..mainey butterfly pakadi"......i and her mother both were amazed at his statement..and then burst into peals of laughter..the child laughed with us too..
Her mother then said.."bete ye butterfly nahi didi hai"..he answered back in a second.."mummy ye pink butterfly hai, meri friend hai".....i was puzzled why he called me so.....

I was getting late....i said a polite namastey and kissed the child and left the place...
I draped my duppatta.....checked if it was equal on both sides..and as i walked..the duppatta flew with the breeze..i felt as if my pink duppatta became my two wings...i turned back and saw the child..his face was beaming with joy...he was telling his mother.."dekho... mummy butterfly"...even ran towards me..i stopped...the wings were still there....i kissed and hugged the child...and walked briskly towards the main road.....
I was happy smwhere inside...

The breeze played up with my duppatta the whole day...i was a butterfly..my heart wished to fly.. somewhere else....to be with tht small child..to play with him....his face crossed my mind a hundred times...and those words."aap kaun ho".."dekho... mummy butterfly"
maybe that child was an angel..gifted me a smile to last the whole day..or maybe my whole life...

Maula Mere Maula ~~~~Anwar

……Beautiful lyrics….wonderfully sung…haunting..total pleasure
Well this my Diary..Blog...but this song needs a special mention..it takes me to sm other world..whenver i hear it...the land of mystics...with pure and unblemished hearts and souls..
mystics,sufis singing this song..asking penance from god..for having witnessed smthing much more beautiful than the perception of their beloved,ie God.
and trying to justify their inebriated state..as a means to appease him.......

Maula mere, maula mere, maula mere, maula mere
Maula mere, maula mere, maula mere, maula mere
Maula mere, maula mere, maula mere, maula mere
Maula mere, maula mere, maula mere, maula mere

aankhein teri aankhein teri.. kitni haseen
ki inkaa aashiq, mein ban gayaa hoon
mujhako basaa le, iname tuuu
ishq hai …maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere…
maula mere maula mere, maula mere , maula mere
ishq hai …maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere
..maula mere maula mere, maula mere, maula mere
ishq hai …maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere…
maula mere maula mere, maula mere , maula mere

ki inakaa aashiq, mein ban gayaa hoon
mujhako basaa le, iname tuuu

mujhase yeh har ghadi, meraa dil kahe
tum hi ho usaki aarzoo
mujhase yeh har ghadi, mere lab kahe
teri hi ho sab guftagoo
baatein teri itni haseen,main yaad inko jab kartaa hoon
phoolon si aaye, khushabooo

rakh loon chhupaa ke main kahin tujhako
saayaa bhi teraa naa main doon
rakh loon banaa ke kahin ghar, main tujhe
saath tere, main hi rahoon
julfen teri, itni ghani
dekh ke inako, yeh sochataa hoon
saaye me, inake main jiyoon
ishq hai …maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere…
maula mere maula mere, maula mere
ishq hai …maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere..
maula mere maula mere, maula mere
ishq hai …maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere…
maula mere maula mere, maula mere

meraa dil yahi bolaa, meraa dil yahi bolaa,
yaara raaj yeh usane hai mujh par kholaa
ki hai ishq mohabbat, jiske dil mein
usko pasand karta hai maulaa....
meraa dil yahi bolaa, meraa dil yahi bolaa,
yaara raaj yeh usane hai mujh par kholaa
ki hai ishq mohabbat, jiske dil mein
usko pasand karta hai maulaa.....
meraa dil yahi bolaa, meraa dil yahi bolaa,
yaara raaj yeh usane hai mujh par kholaa
ki hai ishq mohabbat, jiske dil mein
usko pasand karta hai maulaa

Inspired by Women In Black---In Purdah---The Veil Of Strength!!!

Being a part of a Muslim university .... females in black,grey robes are now a familiar sight. It really didn’t seem right in the start…..felt they were repressed.
Later, in the girls common room when I saw those beautiful luminescent faces, relaxing, offering prayers….. thought it was better they were covered in burquas masked from preying eyes……nazar hi lag jaati un khoobsoorat chehro ko!

Many a trivial things in life have inspired me, but burkha simply was a nice revelation(pun intended).

Burqas, now seem synonymous to me with empowerment of muslim women,clearly as I too once thought buqas represented the women as the weaker/repressed section of the society.
Its a little strange that this university introduced me to the different facets of the burqa,as its a part of a Islamic religion and society.

Burqas gives these females the ease of working,studying with their non-muslim counterparts-shoulder to shoulder.
Great ...isnt it….atleast it acquaints us with the ideals of real women power, instead of assertation of the so called "liberation" through low waist jeans & tops that are too tight to give an audience a idea of the female anatomy!

Though it gives the wearer some security, as on one hand, they cannot be recognized on the street,but in the same process they lose their identity,coz those who wear a burqa have no faces.They cannot be seen.I felt this way they are deprived of not just individuality, but identity.

The woman with no face is deprived of her personhood. Imagine men wearing burqas.It's immediately obvious that what they would have lost are their identities.

However I also agree that, at the end of the day.....the burqa should not be forced,it should only be a personal choice,a symbol of the female authority. As long as women choose traditional robes of some sort, there seems no reason to object, even if we disagree with the ideologies underlying that choice.

Also as a friend remarked once, how this symbol of once female domination, is now a seen as a sign of women arrogance too, because the male bastion is derived of sighting the beautiful face of those illuminated eyes inside it....funny no!!!

In Conversation With God

Lately I have been thinking......during the countless days and nites whn I was questioning myself and my god.......who is god,where can I find him..talk my heart out to him..ask his shoulder to cry on..and get unlimited blessings....and ask for his little guidance.

I tried to search for him in gurdwaras,dargahs,temples and churches,but observed these places definitely had a certain level of positive energy but not god.....then felt he was manifested in the people I loved.......... my parents,family ,friends and sometimes in stangers and even in me.

Thats why i'm the happiest when i'm with people I know and care...coz I know god is within them(dont u feel good when u know god's near u -laughing talking with u)and sometimes I find his reflection in strangers,who r totally alien to me..but still know what happening in my mind and heart......and smtimes when i'm alone I try to search him in me...and my actions.

Abhi likhtey hue bhi mujhe lag raha hain ki shayad mere priyajano mein hee ishwar hai...they know what happening in my life...we r always in conversation.... constantly encouraging & advicing me and sometimes disagreeing but always there to answer me.and always wishing my well being.. thats exactly how I look upto to god....... people may think he is in all those magnificient buildings..par mujhe lagta hain god hamesha mere saath rehte hain...mere faith mein, mere vishwaas mein..bas fir bhi main unhe mehsoos nahi kar sakti...i want to meet him and ask what he wants from me..am I on the right road to be closer to him and to be eternally blessed....and to those lifetimes of happiness and satiety.

maybe kabir too felt the same........what i'm tryin to say...........

Moko Kahan Dhundhere Bande
Mein To Tere Paas Mein
Na Teerath Mein,Na Moorat Mein
Na Ekant Niwas Mein
Na Mandir Mein, Na Masjid Mein
Na Kabe Kailas Mein
Mein To Tere Paas Mein Bande
Mein To Tere Paas Mein
Na Mein Jap Mein, Na Mein Tap Mein
Na Mein Barat Upaas Mein
Na Mein Kiriya Karm Mein Rehta
Nahin Jog Sanyas Mein
Nahin Pran Mein Nahin Pind Mein
Na Brahmand Akas Mein
Na Mein Prakuti Prawar Gufa Mein
Nahin Swasan Ki Swans Mein
Khoji Hoye Turat Mil Jaoon
Ik Pal Ki Talas Mein
Kahet Kabir Suno Bhai Sadho
Mein To Hun Viswas Mein

main zindgai ka saath nibhata chala gaya.......

life is showing its true colours to me...and ppl too.
maybe they were always like that and i was the one who got blinded by my own faith.
koi gal nahi..i wish them good luck in life..and pray that this world gets bigger and their shrinking hearts too.
Been there,done that..wud now include meeting these people too.... they say its better to learn from others mistakes..par khud kar key seekhney main alag maza hai.

and i'm still not cautious......everyday is a new day...and I still have to travel..see new places..meet new people...test my faith again.....

miles to go before I sleep.......

namastey.....sallam.....sat-shri-akal!!

last month ..was just badd......lost my cell....all contacts......a dear friend....and my password to my blog on live journal..................so came here on blogger.............ab saari baatein yahan hongi.
My ppl at live journal..plz do visit this site....not going back to live journo.

and for those at blogger...helllllo!!!

ab kuch khaamah farsaa'i ho jaye...........................